Enchanted Arms Bloopers
by gnygsbgsu
Summary: Let's see how many times Atsuma and the gang screwed up while making this game, shall we? Some AtsumaxKarin.
1. Atsuma's a Screwup

Scene where Atsuma is asleep during class

Scene where Atsuma is asleep during class

Take 1:

Professor Kou slammed his fist down on the desk. Atsuma, however, did not wake up. Kou slapped him in the face, and he still didn't awaken.

Everyone turned slowly to Karin, who was standing off set.

Karin, what did you give him?" Makoto asked her.

"I just gave him some of my homemade soup before the scene." She replied, making everyone go into a state of panic.

"MY GOD! Call an ambulance! He needs medical attention!" Kou screamed, and Atsuma was rushed off the set.

Take 2:

Atsuma woke up as soon as Kou slammed his fist on the desk.

"AH!" he yelled.

"Atsuma, were you sleeping in class?" Professor Kou asked him.

"It's just, your class is so boring!" he replied.

"Well, thanks for being honest. Now you can demonstrate the basics of combat on that training golem over there."

"Okay!" Atsuma yelled, and got behind the golem. Professor Kou started to protest, but wasn't in time. Atsuma used Mega Flare Wave on the golem, which was knocked straight into Professor Kou, who was standing in front of Touya and Makoto, and exploded. All three were smoking, and they slowly approached Atsuma.

"Um…Arm? A little help here?!" he pleaded.

"You're on your own, kid." It said, and he was beaten to a bloody pulp.

Scene where Makoto throws Atsuma at of harms way during the battle with the queen of Ice.:

Take 1:

"You're in the way!" Makoto screamed as he picked up Atsuma to throw out of the way. But when he picked Atsuma up, he chose that moment to let out gas, making Makoto aim wrong, and the queen of ice was hit face first with Atsuma.

Take 2:

This time, Makoto threw Atsuma in the right direction. But he threw him a little too far, and he hit a stalagmite, head first.

"We need a new Atsuma!" the director yelled.

Take 3:

"You're in the-Huh?!" Makoto yelled as he looked down to see Atsuma's clothes in a pile. The strange thing is, he also saw Karin's clothes there as well…

"Atsuma! Karin! Now is not the time for it!" The director screamed.

Bonus scene: Force Pain

Atsuma was using force pain, and everything was going fine until the air started twisting around the enemy…Because then a piece of reality was ripped apart, leaving an all consuming black hole in it's wake.

"ACK!" Atsuma yelled as the black hole started consuming the studio.

"Run away!" Makoto yelled, and they all escaped the black hole.


	2. Atsuma's a Screwup, part II

Enchanted Arms Bloopers

Enchanted Arms Bloopers

Atsuma and the others were seated in a living room around a TV, with Atsuma nervously holding a disc in his hand. Everyone else was nervous too, except for Makoto, who was busy eating pudding.

"Should we really watch this?" he asked them, and they all nodded, looking scared to death. "Oh come on! It can't be that bad, can it?" he yelled at them, and all their faces turned white.

"This pudding is fantastic! I want the recipe from the person who made this!" Makoto yelled, and Karin smiled.

"I made that. I'll give you the recipe later." she said, which made Makoto go white and run straight to the bathroom. When he returned, he was woozy, and sat down on the couch. Karin looked hurt.

"Okay, I'm going to put the disc in. Five, four three, two one…" And with that, he inserted the disc into the DVD player, and started up the bloopers.

Atsuma's arm forcing him to revive the Queen of Ice, Take 1:

Atsuma was slowly being pulled towards the Queen of Ice by his arm.

"I can't stop! Help!" he yelled, but Toya and Makoto stood still, yelling at him to stop. When he finally reached the queen of ice, his arm reached out…And grabbed her…You know what's.

The Queen of Ice promptly woke up and slapped him in the face down the stairs. "PERVERT!" she screamed.

Take 2:

When Atsuma reached over to the Queen of Ice, his arm reached OVER her shoulder and grabbed a Klondike bar from behind her.

"I told you I would do it, Toya!" Atsuma shouted to him, making everyone on set stare at him.

He shrugged. "I wanted to find out what someone would do for a Klondike bar!" he said.

Take 3:

Atsuma reaches towards the Queen of Ice, and it seemed that nothing could go wrong…Until Cota jumped in front of him and his arm came into contact with him, causing him to grow to the size of the university and go on a massive rampage.

"Oh, for the love of god!" Makoto yelled.

The Aftermath of the battle between the Emperor of Fire and the Queen of Ice:

Raigar and Yuki were running around the city, attempting to find Karin and Atsuma. They eventually met up at the park.

"Where the hell are those two?!" Yuki yelled. Both Raigar and Yuki's eyes grew wide. "You don't think…" Raigar said, and they ran to the boarded up house and kicked down the door to reveal an Atsuma with his hands up Karin's shirt. As soon as he saw Raigar, he took one hand out and waved to Raigar.

"Hey Raigar, what's up?" he asked. Raigar got a death look on his face and started strangling Atsuma. It took Karin, Yuki, Toya, Makoto, and several guards from the castle to stop him from killing Atsuma.

Bonus scene: Yuki's first EX

Yuki charged up her EX, and made the ring things above the enemy giant toad they were facing. "Swiss cheese time!" she yelled, and shot about one thousand enchanted bullets at it for what she thought would be a complete and total overkill. Surprisingly enough, though, it caught all the bullets in its mouth. Everyone stood still for a full minute, and then the toad monster they were fighting shot all the bullets back at Atsuma and the gang, who ran like hell away.

Meanwhile, back outside the bloopers…

Makoto and Toya were laughing so hard that their faces were purple, Atsuma and Karin's faces were extremely red, and Raigar shot Atsuma a death glare.

"OH.MY.GOD!! THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!!" Toya yelled, barely being able to breathe.

"SAME HERE!!" Makoto agreed. When the laughter finally stopped, Toya turned to Atsuma.

"By the way, what were you two doing in there?" Toya asked, which made their faces even redder. (Is redder even a word? …Yeah, that's a word.) Raigar couldn't' contain himself any longer, and attempted to strangle Atsuma. Luckily, Makoto managed to hold them apart.

"You know, I just realized that I'm not strong enough to hold you both apart SOMEONE HELP ME!!" he screamed, all in one breath, and Karin, Toya, Yuki, and a random elf (How the hell did he get there?) managed to hold Raigar off long enough for Atsuma to escape.


	3. Worst Replacements Ever

Disclaimer: I do not own Enchanted Arms, Red vs Blue, or The Matrix. My most valuable possession at the moment is a pack of 60 pieces of gum that was $4.00. Yes, that is a rip off, but I was desperate.

Atsuma and the others were walking through a high security underground place. They walked up to a door. It opened, and closed when they were through. They walked up to another door. The same thing happened.

This continued 15.6 more times until eventually the very last door decided not to close when they were past it. Atsuma walked towards it. He pulled out a screwdriver and started trying to fix it.

"Atsuma, we're going to be late for the filming!" Makoto whined. Atsuma proceeded to ignore him and continue trying to fix the door. Everyone was about to leave, when suddenly, Atsuma got the door to work. Unfortunately, the people who designed the doors didn't think to include the idea of a person standing in the doorway when it closed.

As a result of this, Atsuma was trapped in between the door, which started to repeatedly slam him. Worse, one of his high tech gadgets that never made it into the game fell loose, hit the floor, and fired a high voltage electrical rod into his cheek.

The result was that every door, light, and electrical device on the same circuit as that door instantly shorted out, leaving them all in darkness. Luckily, Atsuma was able to punch right through the door, and light a fire in his hand to light the way. Luckily, the studio was not shorted out. They instantly noticed the figure in blue armor by the director.

"Before you ask, I'm going to explain it to you. Raigar filed a restraining order, so Atsuma cannot be within 50 feet of him. Therefore, we have decided to replace him with Michael J. Caboose from the popular web series, Red vs Blue. And yes, he will NOT try to kill Atsuma." Atsuma did a small victory dance.

"Um, I just realized that I forgot to memorize my script…In fact, I don't even remember getting a script. In Red vs Blue, I pretty much just went along with what everyone else was doing. Church always gave me a glass of orange juice when I got it right."

"O…kay. Ish. Don't worry, we wrote the script at the last minute anyway. You'll probably improvise something better than what we came up with. Just don't do anything stupid."

"I've seen Red vs Blue, and that might be a problem." Toya stated.

"I hope it isn't a math problem." Caboose replied.

-Blooper 1: Atsuma bunking with Raigar/Caboose-

"Well, that was pretty cold how they made you sleep in here. And they didn't even give us any food!" Atsuma said. Suddenly, a rat scurried by. Atsuma lunged at it with a fork.

"Dinner!" he yelled. Caboose promptly stopped him from killing the rat. With a sharp salute, the rat continued scurrying to safety.

"Don't kill the rat! It might have friends to help!" he said. Atsuma just stared at him. He quickly decided not to pursue the matter further.

"So, I guess it's time to go to sleep." Atsuma said, ready to hit the hay. Caboose, on the other hand, had other ideas.

"But you haven't read me my bedtime story yet!" he said. Atsuma simply stared at him as if his gray matter were pouring out his ear.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

-Scene where Atsuma and the others accuse Raigar of being gay-

"I thought that women didn't interest you!" Atsuma said.

Karin giggled.

Yuki giggled.

Sayaka giggled.

The random elf, just to be different, chuckled. He was quickly shooed away.

"Well, a lot of things interest me. Orange juice, cookies, bedtime stories." Caboose quickly ran out of fingers to count on. Everyone just stared at him.

"We're accusing you of being gay, which wouldn't really be possible, since you get Sayaka pregnant at the end of the game." Atsuma stated. The others, realizing that the scene was already dead, decided to grab some popcorn and watch the action unfold.

"Well, maybe you should explain how sex works, just in case there's someone here who….doesn't…maybe, know how it works?"

"Oh my GOD. Why did we hire him, again?" the director moaned.

Makoto, not wanting to be outdone, groaned.

The director moaned.

Makoto groaned louder.

The director moaned louder.

Makoto groaned-

"ENOUGH WITH THE MOANING AND GROANING! IT'S STARTING TO GET CREEPY!" Sayaka screamed, and promptly stormed off the set.

"Well, great! All of her scenes were planned today! What are we going to do now?" the director said.

"Um, actually, I have an idea." Caboose stated.

A contract signing later…

"What was I thinking?" the director moaned, looking at Tucker. Caboose had apparently known another of his friends that could help them. What he didn't tell them was that he was a GUY.

-Brief intermission after fighting the Queen of Ice's first form-

"Show it to her!" Karin yelled, referring to the ice magicore that would save Toya from being destroyed.

"Yeah, show it to her! Bow-Chika-Bow-Wow!" Tucker yelled from off-set. The director promptly ripped all his hair out and needed immediate medical attention. Because of this, all scenes for the day were stopped, and the bonus scene was cut out.

Or at least, it should have been. Atsuma apparently decided to film it anyway.

-Bonus scene: EX Stun Bead Flare-

"Reduce them to ash!" Atsuma yelled, and took a moment to enjoy the pride he felt whenever saying that line, for it was the coolest EX line he had, in his opinion. Mega Phoenix sounds kind of gay, and Force Pain was kind of cliché. Unfortunately, at that very moment, he screwed up.

Instead of delivering that final punch, he tripped and fell fist first onto the ground. When his fist connected with the ground, a huge crater was formed, and hot air rushed upward, blowing Atsuma upwards. At that very moment, Neo from The Matrix happened to be flying by, and was thrown upward as well. They flew upward, stopped in midair for a moment, and then proceeded to begin falling again. Neo was happy to fly away and be safe, but Atsuma was, to put it briefly, hospitalized for the next three days.


End file.
